Tuesday, March 20, 2007

the freaking dawn.

I'm not so sure this as-it-happens docu-blog is such a good idea. Because I will use it.

I can't sleep. Let me rephrase - I don't want to go to sleep. Because if I go to sleep, tomorrow will be here. And I don't want tomorrow right now. I just don't. But all I want to do is sleep. Because at the moment, I am not caring about much. So I'm not sure what to do. I'm hoping tomorrow this cycling will not be an issue, and it will be a somewhat normal day.

"It's darkest just before the dawn".... Is that biblical? Where the heck is that, I wanna know, because I am starting to be annoyed by that statement. It's a cruel tease, I think, because what if it's dark for a really long time? What if there are expectations of us while we are in the darkness? Are we expected to grow, to change, to have revelations? Because all I'm having are breakdowns. Is there some grand, holy mantle in the midst of depression that I am supposed to be assuming here? Am I missing something?

okay, enough already - tired of hearing my brain. here's the part where I flip channels for 2 hours and oversleep. God, I'm believing here - help my cynical, pathetic unbelief.

1 comment:

bipolarocket said...

I'll have to check it out. thanks for the kind words - my prayer is that God uses my writing to encourage others.